Toddler Bed

This summer Adam made Shane a toddler bed. Yup, that's right, Adam built it himself. This was Adam's very first woodworking project and it turned out great!!

You can find the plans here.

Shane LOVES his new bed. Yes we did go through about a month of transition time until he was truly acclimated to it, but he always loved it from the start. For awhile it was sitting in our garage while Adam stained it. Every time we'd walk past it to go into the house I'd tell Shane that daddy was making him a bed, a bed just for him. So he had a little bit of time to internalize the idea before actually having to make the switch.

I was so crazy excited for Shane to try out his new bed, that I started putting him in it two days before going on vacation, yeah dumb. We used the pack n' play on vacation. He apparently can climb out of it now because he did twice. He didn't the rest of the time we were there which was a huge relief. I couldn't go back to the crib when we got back from vacation. It probably made it a little harder for Shane (and ultimately me too), but if I went back to the crib, then he would always think that was an option and that was not going to happen.

So we kept at it once we got home from vacation. Makenzie was still sleeping in a bassinet in the living room. I completely emptied out the crib, mattress and all to try to help his detachment from it. I put his mattress and all his special night time things on his new bed. Every time I put him to bed I set aside plenty of time to really focus on winding Shane down. I would go through the normal bedtime routine and then give him extra cuddling and even sing several songs to him while he laid in bed. I did this until he stopped asking for them, which was about 3-4 weeks. The first few days I would leave his room and he would be quiet in his bed for about 5 min. Then he would casually walk out of his room with his blankie and sit on the couch with us to watch TV. He gave us no unusual facial expression. For him, it all seemed completely normal. So we would put him back in bed and out again he came. Every time we put him back in bed he was calm and happy. He waved goodnight to us and blew us kisses. We repeated this a couple of times and then just locked his door (we turned the door knob around). He cried at the door for about 10min and then climbed back in bed and went to sleep. That was how it went every night for about 2 weeks-ish. Then suddenly he didn't try to come out anymore. He would actually stay in bed and quietly go to sleep. He will still come out of his room every once in a while after I put him to bed, but it is usually pretty easy to get him to go back to bed.

The hardest part of this transition was the middle of the night. Once he started sleeping in the toddler bed, Shane was waking up more often than Makenzie was. My sleep deprivation was caused more by him waking in the middle of the night than anything else. He would walk into my room and over to my side of the bed (not dad's) with his blanket and occasionally his pillow in his hands. He would start tugging on my arm and as soon as I woke up he would attempt to climb into bed with me. I'd pull him into my bed, snuggle up with him and fall asleep. Course I couldn't sleep much with a two year old in my bed so when I'd wake up 10-15 minutes later I'd carry him back to his bed. He always went willingly as long as he got to snuggle for a few minutes. Honestly, I kind of ate it up for while because Shane has never been much of a cuddle bug. I think I enjoyed the cuddling as much as he did.

Ultimately, I was tired. All day long. I couldn't take the multiple wakings during the night anymore. From some great advice from my sister I realized I was only encouraging Shane when I'd pull him into bed with me. So as much as I loved snuggling with him and as hard as it was, I pulled the plug. No more getting into mom's bed in the middle of the night. If Shane woke up, I didn't say anything. I simply carried him back to his room, tucked him back in and left. This carried on for several nights. So I tried something else my sister suggested: explain what needs to happen BEFORE it happens, not in the heat of the moment. When I put Shane down for the first time at bedtime I sat and explained to him that if he wakes up during the night he should not come and wake up mom and dad but stay in his bed and just go back to sleep. The first time I told him that he looked heart-broken. I repeated the instructions every night at bedtime and during the night continued to just put him back to bed without snuggling and without a word. Today, Shane rarely comes into our room at night. We are not sure if he wakes up or not, but as long as he is going back to sleep on his own, we are completely happy.

Occasionally, Shane starts crying in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. He doesn't get out of his bed, he just lays there crying. I go in to calm him down, but he doesn't want anything to do with anyone or anything. Finally, I just pick him up out of bed and rock with him and he instantly calms down and snuggles right up to me. He never did this when he slept in his crib. I think it might be nightmares or nightares and that it is just a coincidence that they are happening now that he switched beds. Who knows. It is hard, as a mom, to watch him cry and not know what to do.