Labor of Love

So I have learned that being a mom gets better and better as time goes on. Some of you moms with older kids might be laughing at me right now, but just remember back to when your kids were newborns and how hard it was.

Maybe it is because Shane now sleeps 7-8 hours at night, or because feeding him usually takes 15 minutes or less, or maybe it is because he hardly every cries, or the way he smiles at me. Whatever it is, motherhood is so much better now then the first couple of weeks after coming home from the hospital. I have to admit, those first couple of weeks were rough on me emotionally and I was wondering why having a kid was such a good idea to me. But now, even when he does wail, I USUALLY think it is cute. And it makes me so happy when he wakes up in the morning and turns his head to see me and a huge smile spreads across his face. Some how beginning to feel like the most important person in the world, like this cute little boy couldn't be happy without you makes you happier then you ever imagined. Being a mother does strange things to a woman.

These are pictures of Shane at 5 weeks (about 1 month):
So when I see other mothers, I feel like an imposter. I feel like they are REAL mothers but I'm not and I am just TRYING, unsuccessfully, to be one. Has anyone else ever felt like that? Maybe it is the inner "I'm not good enough" feeling that most women have haunting them. I have always thought that I am far from the stereotype of the "perfect mother." I've never had a problem with that. I always just figured I would make up for it by being a cool/funny mom. However, I have realized that just because a person is funny doesn't mean they are a good mother. Course I have also learned over the years that I'm not very funny. I love funny things and funny people, but my ability to make jokes probably shouldn't be labeled as one of my talents. Course I guess "funny" is different to a child. So, maybe to my son I will the funniest person in the world! There is no right way to be a mother though, right? Then no matter what way you look at, as long as my son is healthy and happy (most of the time) then I'm not doing anything wrong and just because someone else is a different mother than me, doesn't mean she is better. Maybe I'm better ;) (jk).