Kulula Airlines

This kind of post is not normal for me. However, this email my dad sent me about Kulula Airlines was HILARIOUS! I just had to share. Hopefully, it makes you laugh as much as it did Adam and I.

Kulula is a South African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery!

What a pity Kulula doesn't fly internationally - We should support them if only for their humor - so typically South African.

Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been reported:

- On a Kulula flight, there is no assigned seating, you sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it."

- On another flight with a very "senior" flight crew, the pilot said "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

- On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a flight like that, I'm sure everything has shifted."

- "Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt. If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

- "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your own mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

- Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Kulula Airlines."

- "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses..."

- From the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight."

- On Kulula flight 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt.

- After an extremely hard landing, on a particularly windy day, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in you seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate."

- "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

- Kulula airlines has a policy which requires the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exit, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." A pilot said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a came. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no ma'am," said the pilot. The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

- "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

- Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

- "Ladies and Gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section is outside on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."